Public Service Announcement

Dear avid readership,

I'm off on a very-recently-scheduled trip to the big city to meet with my dissertation committee, so don't expect to see anything new here until Saturday at the very earliest.

All best,

PV

Quote of the day

Wild Thing: "I am hyper!!!!!"

He was right.

Unsolicited advice

If you're planning to march in a parade, and you represent an assisted living facility, you should, under no circumstances, base your float design on a prison motif. In particular, the people carrying the banner for your facility should definitely not be dressed in prison stripes and dragging balls and chains. That's really not the image you're looking for.

Twin Talk for Singletons

Wild Thing's latest habit is manufacturing words. Sometimes the words mean something; sometimes not. Tonight on his changing table he said "gooba gooba gooba." Or words to that effect. When we repeated the, um, phrase back with a quizzical tone in our voices, he told us that "gooba gooba gooba" means "don't put on my PJs."

Other words are pretty much random. Nonsense sounds substituted for color adjectives, that sort of thing. I might worry about this were it not for his obvious glee in coming up with words he knows are silly. Since he does manifest glee, however, I'm now planning to encourage him to become the next Edward Lear. We could use another one.

Postscript: On Lear's lexical inventiveness, I recommend this Cecil Adams article.

Friday Random Ten--No Clever Suffix Edition

1. Take Up Thy Pen--Alden Penner
2. Maybe Sparrow--Neko Case
3. Bak et Hallelujah--Kaizers Orchestra
4. Beat Surrender--The Jam
5. Time--Tom Waits
6. Moon River--Bill Frisell/Dave Holland/Elvin Jones
7. The King of Carrot Flowers, Pt. 1--Neutral Milk Hotel
8. Limehouse Blues--Django Reinhardt
9. Hard Times Come Again No More--Mavis Staples
10. Drowningtime--Esme Montgomery

(Esme Montgomery is someone I knew in college who has since gone on to a moderately successful music career in NYC. Quite talented.)

More craftiness

So, Wild Thing is learning the fine art of playing one's parents against each other. For the last several days, when I tell him that I don't want him to do something, he replies, "Mommy said it was OK." He's pulling the same thing on her.

Looks like it's going to be a long sixteen years.

Developmental note

Warning: This is boring, except maybe to grandparents and developmental psychologists.

Wild Thing is getting quite good at figuring out the initial letters of words. He can now extract the B sound from a word like "banana" and figure out that this is related to the letter B. He can do this for a number of letters--at a minimum, b, f, m, p, s, w, and z. Initial vowels are still well beyond his grasp, and some of the other letters still leave him guessing or itching to change the subject. But he did figure out that James (Thomas the Tank Engine's friend) started with j--after guessing g first.

On the multiple uses of literacy

This morning we took a trip to something called a welding rodeo, held at a local technical college. I didn't quite take in all the rules, but there's some sort of challenge presented to several 4-person teams of welders, and they have a few hours to come up with a metal sculpture that meets the challenge. Sort of like Iron Chef, except with real iron, I guess.

Anyway, we thought Wild Thing might enjoy this, since he's interested in fire. (!) And it's always fun to look at big metal sculptures, eh? So, we truck on out only to find that WT can't really be bothered to do more than glance at the sculpture of, say, a gigantic grasshopper, or a giant fish, or a giant manta ray, or what not. Even less interesting were the welders themselves, who were all behind protective enclosures (to shield viewers from sparks, I imagine) and were boring at best, and slightly scary at worst.

But all was not lost! The campus is laid out something like a high school campus, with lots of small single-story buildings built up around a lot of open space. And each of these buildings is labeled with a letter--a large, white letter, standing out clearly on a blue background. These are visible at quite a distance, presumably as a navigational aid.

Or perhaps they are there to entertain children. Because WT obviously believed that the whole reason we were there was so that he could identify every letter on every building. "There's a B! I see TWO B's!" he would cry. Then, turning, he would spot another. "I see a letter S!" which he would then proceed to run towards as though he thought it were made out of ice cream.

Not where it counts

WT, this morning, wanted some of the vegetarian sausage (spicy soy--yum yum!) from my plate. This invariably means that he wants to sit in my lap. I was, however, reluctant to let him do so, since, because of his horrific manner of slinging food in the general direction of his mouth rather than eating like a civilized being, his pajamas were covered with a slimy mixture of grits and strawberry yogurt.

Me: Wild Thing, you may have some sausage. But I want you to sit at your little table, because you're covered with food.

WT (Patting his rump): My bottom is not!

He had a point. But I still made him sit at the little table.

Friday Random Ten--unquiet ghosts edition

1. Judy and the Dream of Horses--Belle and Sebastian
2. Chocolate Jesus--Tom Waits
3. Juice of the Forbidden Fruit--Neil Morris
4. Please Stop Playing Those Blues--Louis Armstrong
5. The Long Black Veil--Johnny Cash
6. Charley Patton Songs--Gomez
7. Dr. Yes--Sex Mob
8. Ghosts--The Jam
9. Bone of Song--Josh Ritter
10. Li Ma Weesu--Youssou N'Dour

In the Eye of the Beholder

Wild Thing, trying on his new red short-sleeved shirt: "I'm beautiful! I'm beautiful in this shirt!"

Looking ahead

I see that by early June, the sun will be setting after 9 pm here in these northerly climes. I would much welcome any advice as to how to get your preschooler to buy into a bedtime that's a full half hour before sunset.

"A snake with train cars on it"

That's Wild Thing's term for this contraption, which he has newly discovered even though it's been hanging out in the toybox since Christmas.

The blame game

Tonight, Wild Thing began hitting me, mostly playfully, with his stuffed Pooh. I asked him to stop--hitting people hurts, after all--and was told "I'm not hitting--Pooh is doing it!"

I have some faint recollection of blaming inanimate objects for my transgressions, and (like many among us) have a long history of trying to evade responsibility for things that are really my fault. But I never knew it started quite this early. Feh.

Update: This morning, confronted with a sticker stuck to the wall, WT argued thusly: "I didn't put it there. James did it!" James, as many parents/guardians of preschoolers will recognize, is one of Thomas the Tank Engine's friends. I pointed out that James doesn't have any fingers, which seemed pretty exculpatory to me.

Childrearing tip # 273,423

It is easier to get your child to do what you want them to do if you allow them to do it while wearing sunglasses.

Friday Random Ten: The Clogged Sinuses edition

Hmm. Nothing particularly sinus-clearing here--a fairly mellow morning for iTunes.

1. "Mary Lately"--Martha Berner
2. "Montmartre"--Django Reinhardt
3. "I Will Come Around"--Spectacular Fantastic
4. "Carry Me"--Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
5. "Breakdown"--My Dad is Dead
6. "Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner"--Warren Zevon
7. "Bear Cat"--Rufus Thomas
8. "Pulling Touch"--Poi Dog Pondering
9. "I Go Ka"--Ali Farka Toure
10. "El Carretero"--Buena Vista Social Club

Contrarian

Wild Thing has picked up the habit of intentionally doing his puzzles incorrectly. He'll put the pig in the cow spot and the cow in the pig spot. And then he'll sort of beam at his own handiwork and cleverness.

It makes sense, though. This personality trait runs in the family a bit; I, at least, get bored pretty quickly with doing everything the right way, and have a predisposition towards making things messier and harder than they really need to be, I'm afraid. It's a bit surprising to see this trait cropping up so early ...

Or perhaps all 2 1/2-year-olds do this and I'm just making false generalizations. That's another tendency of mine ...

Imitation

Two short-shorts.

1. This morning, Wild Thing used a marker to put a little blue streak on my jeans. I put the marker away. Shortly thereafter, I was playing with his toy guitar. He came and claimed it, and walked away, saying "I'm putting this away. You're not behaving!"

2. Yesterday we picked up a new Thomas the Tank Engine book at K-Mart. Actually, this one features James on the cover, which matters a little to the story ... This morning, WT took his Lego versions of James and Thomas upstairs to his room and started "reading" the new book to them.

Where are we going?

Lately, Wild Thing has been playing a game where he leaves Overworked Spouse and me in the bedroom and runs off somewhere for about ten seconds before returning and declaring "I'm back!" When asked where he's headed, his answers vary. "Kansas!" "Pennsylvania!" "Granny's House!" etc.

Tonight:

Me: "WT, where are you going?"

WT: "Nowhere!"

Me: "Oh? And where is nowhere?"

WT: "In California!"

I know more than one person who would agree with that assessment.

What time is it?

Tonight, during toothbrushing, Wild Thing is, as usual, slurping on the toothbrush unstead of brushing with it.

Overworked Spouse: WT, it's time to start brushing your teeth.

WT: No! It's sucking time!

Friday Random Ten: Jonathan Swift Ate My Brain Edition

Dis chapter ... fusing neural circuits! Must do something frivolous!

Today's ten:

1. "A King and a Queen"--Okkervil River
2. "Tango Till They're Sore"--Tom Waits
3. "The Ledge"--The Replacements
4. "Django's Tiger"--Django Reinhardt
5. "Harmony"--Spectacular Fantastic
6. "What a Time"--Belleville A Capella Choir
7. "Truth or Dare"--They Live By Night
8. "Darkest Hour"--Spectacular Fantastic
9. "Kansas City"--Okkervil River
10. "Ojo"--Leo Kottke

Obviously some artists are currently overrepresented in my iTunes folder. We'll have to restore some balance once I can afford to buy that giant new hard drive I want. Which is to say, not real soon.

New insight

I had been thinking that the reason Wild Thing is a grouch in the morning and a complete charmer in the evening (as a rule) was because he's more night owl than morning glory, much like his parents. But I've been thinking. If he's sweet and joyful in the morning, what happens? He gets stuffed in a car seat and hauled off to the child care center. If he's sweet and charming after dinner, what happens? Mom and dad want to hang out and play until it's really obvious that we're being bad parents by letting him stay up so late. Being a grump in the evening would get him put to bed quickly, but grumpiness in the morning means everything goes more slowly, which yields more time in the house.

Pretty sharp, that night owl of ours.

Dork in training?

WT will often, out of the blue, spout out a line from one of his favorite books, free from any apparent context.

Playing with a puzzle, he'll exclaim, "I DO like green eggs and ham!" That sort of thing.

I am not certain, of course, but I can only imagine that this is a sign that he will be one of those dorks who spend much of their time in high school reciting lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail to anyone who will listen.

Just like his father, in other words. I'm so proud.

Watch me pull a rabbit out of my ...

Warning: scatalogical material. This post may not be suitable for readers with delicate constitutions or who are currently eating lunch.

Scene: This morning, trying to get Wild Thing onto the changing table.

Me (hoisting him onto the table): WT, we need to change your diaper. You are poopy.

WT (transparently lying): No! I'm not!

Me: Yes you are. I can tell. (Opening diaper.) What's this in your diaper, if it isn't poop?

WT: It's a rabbit!

Me: A rabbit?

WT: Yes! There's a rabbit in my poop!

Note: No actual rabbit was detected in the fecal material.